I played it all out in my head (my imagination), hoping that it will all work out they way I anticipated. Thinking about it and basking in the notion of how things could possibly progress gave me the giggles, a smile that stretched longer than a mile, shear pleasure, and a bout of nervousness all at once. But of course, reality set in and I had to readdress my expectations. Disappoinment set in as I began to see things for what they are...listening and then observing behavior. Actions speak louder than words, right? Yet a part of me is doing a little compromising. It is possible that I am being stubborn. It is possible that I just want what I want on my terms. Fear...I fear slipping back into old habits and accepting mediocrity. I'm left staring at the situation, not sure of what to do. My own emotions hurt me sometimes and when it comes to certain matters, reason is not anyone's best friend. My best recourse???? Take a step back...don't move...don't speak. Just stand still.
